Sometimes I get the impression that people begrudge me the things that I get or the things that I do. I've been told I'm spoiled, I've been told I should be so thankful, I've been told that I have more than I deserve. I'll just address those things right now. I'm in a little bit of a feisty mood, but I hope noone takes offense at what I'll say. If you know me, you know I'm a tell it like it is kind of person. I'm very sarcastic, I have a very dry humor and it's often mistaken for things that it's not. So just before I say anything else I want to put that out there.
Yes. I'm spoiled. I know it. I appreciate it. I'm glad it's that way. And, I think I deserve it!
I am thankful for what I have and the way I am treated. This comes with a lot of perspective. I don't feel the need to lay it all out here, but again, if you know me, you know I've been on the other side of the fence.
I probably do have more than I deserve. I like nice things. I like my house to be a certain way. I like my kids to have certain things and I suppose that all comes with a price. Wayne feels the same way, if not more so on some of those issues. Again, a lot of that comes with perspective.
Now I really run the risk of saying things in an off-putting way here and I really want to make it clear that I do not want that, it's not my intention.
Most times, when people hear or see that I did this or Wayne did this FOR more or Wayne got me that or whatever it is, I will get some sort of "you don't know how lucky you are" statement or how can she let him spoil her like that. People I suppose assume I don't deserve it. Again, trying to be nice here, but most people do not know the whole story. You see the pretty green grass and the shopping bags and the smiling family getting into the van to go to dinner or whatever. All that's real. But what people don't know and of course don't assume how it got to be that way. I don't owe a backstory but I do get tired of being looked at like I am a spoiled princess who doesn't deserve to be treated the way she is. I suppose I can't justify it enough to anyone who feels that way. Or I could, but I won't. Just know that I didn't make it to 37 years old without some battle scars. I didn't always get whatever I wanted. You don't know what's gone on inside me to make me who I am. And you apparently don't know how I overcame any of that.
So if I'm spoiled and it bothers you, that's o.k. You've got your story and I've got mine. But I will vehemently defend that I deserve whatever I'm reaping these days. I wish for anyone all the good things that could possibly come to them in their life. I would just really hope that some people could do the same for me.
I personally believe you are simply well loved by Wayne and I think that is a beautiful thing.
Posted by: Chris | February 27, 2009 at 09:41 AM
Did somebody push a button or what?
Glad you are happy with your life and all that goes with it. If I didn't know you(pretty well)I might question you, but you are one of the most compassionate and loving people I know....I know you give a lot, too.
XOXO
Posted by: MOM | February 27, 2009 at 01:03 PM
I could have wrote that myself girl.... I didn't have many obstacles in my life like a lot of people have had to endure, but even as a child, I always appreciate everything that I had, everything I was given. I didn't take anything for granted.
Chin up hon... lots of haters out there in the world. You do your thing and let them do theirs. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything... you answer to YOUR family and to your heart and as long as you stay honest, good, and caring all is good in life :)
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