Tonight while doing some grocery shopping with my allegedly-smarter-than-I-am son I was informed that I have a funny way of listening. Apparently it happened more than once today. I guess I was picking up things other than what were the point of the topic being discussed. Or, I was asked more than once if I was even present during the conversation. Blame it on the Adult ADHD. I'm easily distractable, so sue me! No don't, I have four expensive kids, which is why I have to go to the place that makes me crazy several times a week.
O.K., I don't even remember why he was telling me this story. Maybe I wasn't actually present during our conversation. Maybe I'd my consciousness had been quietly abducted by some glittery aliens? But for whatever reason....OH! I remember, I saw this guy driving this old Cutlass type car....1980s...with huge, ginormous rims! This was a sight to see, only because it was so tacky. It almost could have been a ride at an amusement park! So, I pull out my phone to take a picture (sorry, that didn't work out) and Brent's cheering on this guy to get past me without my being able to take a picture. Who's side is he on anyway? The guy driving the amusement park car? Loyalty anyone?! Anywaaaayyyy....THAT is what made him tell me the story of the kid at school during his senior year that he got in a fight with over ME! Now, here is where I will need to apologize to any local (Hawaiian) friends that may read this. Because no matter how you slice it Brent had a rought time with the locals in high school. I think he wasn't tan enough, or didn't speak pidjin so well or something. ;) So he gets in a fight with this kid because I had dropped him off at school and the kid started bad mouthing me and so Brent got into it with him. He earned himself extra laps during practice thanks to me. Funny that I'm only now hearing this story, but nevertheless....
Now, isn't the obvious question the I would ask, "WHAT did he say about me? WHY would he badmouth me?" According to my ever-so-wise son that is a ridiculous question! I thought since part of the story was that I had JUST dropped him off at school that maybe he was being made fun of for that. But no, that wasn't it. To be honest, I'm not even sure that's as uncool now as it was when I was in school. I just thought it might have been something like that that sparked the fight. So, I keep on with my line of questioning. Did I cut him off as he was walking across or something? Had I said something to him at one time or another? No! No! No! Apparently these questions are irrelevant and I had done nothing whatsoever to the kid. He just called me some choices words because he felt like it. Still, I'm just like, "Whyyyyyy?" Who DOES that? Who starts a fight, an actual physical fight with someone over something so stupid? I just don't get it. Obviously I'm not supposed to get it. I guess people just do stupid stuff like for no reason. But I wouldn't do that? It's moronic.
Take for example, the words that almost slipped out of my mouth at Walmart. And trust me it was sickeningly, dangerously close to actually happening! I'm turning onto one of the frozen food aisles and this family, I guess, were all huddled around their cart and kind of spread out. So, I'm standing there. They're standing there. I'm pretty sure I'm not invisible. Yet they are still standing there and make no effort to move or make their presence a little more compact or anything at all! What almost, really, really almost, came out of my mouth was, "Could you please more your family reunion somewhere else?!" See, now if I'd said that, it would have been rude, yes. But at least I had a REASON for saying it. KWIM? Or what about when I was in the dairy aisle and this baby/child screeches, you know the kind that goes right up your spine? Well, I actually DID say out loud, "I could have gone all DAY without that!" I even got an smile of agreement from one very nice man who I can only assume would have been on my side had things actually come to blows. But again, I had a REASON for saying it. Piercing, blood-curdling screech = justifiable reason for mouthing off!
See, if you're going to mouth off about me, I need you to have a good reason. And frankly I think I was robbed of the opportunity to give him one. I'm sure, had I known, I could have given him something worthy! And THAT is my point!