I think this should also be the title of my biography, it's a great title, right?! I get in these modes (or moods too, if you like) where I'm either high on music or down with it, but never without it. I had a couple of times over the past several days that were highly unexpected that were brought on by whatever I was listening to at the time. You may have heard people say this about dance, for example, that it can reach places that you just can't reach with anything else. And for sure this has to be true with music! It can be like a drug or like therapy all in one. I know in my life it's been both.
The other afternoon I was driving down the rode alone and listening to some song, I can't even remember which one right now and of course I was singing along, as I usually do in these scenarios, haha! But then I sort of noticed I was having SUCH a reaction to this song, like I was singing it as if I had written it myself. I was kind of like, 'Whoa! Where did that come from?' Of course I recognized why I would connect with the song, but it was like old stuff I'd long since put to bed. If you know me well, you know I like to put my emotions to bed and let them sleep a looooong time! (haha!) Well, lo and behold this old feeling woke up loudly!
Another afternoon, same scenarios (driving, singing, blah, blah, blah). Singing some song I barely knew on a cd I'd only recently bought and all of a sudden I had tears running down my cheeks. This time I didn't know why. Did I just need to cry about something? Was there something going on behind the scenes in my mind? I still don't know, I just know that song had touched on something.
So I got to thinking about all this music and why I love it so much. Well, there could really only be one answer to this that I know of and it's my Dad. I think my sisters would all share this same feeling. The man has an enormous music collection. I know some serious dinero has been dropped in record stores by this man. He would come home with stacks of cd's from where he'd stopped at Sam Goody's or wherever on his way home. Most of the time it was stuff I wouldn't like. I always thought of his taste as "experimental". Whatever that means. But that's how you find what you like, right? The point being there was always more and more music coming in.
Before that of course there were the records. ALWAYS records, never tapes. I remember wanting to buy a tape once and he told me to go back and get the record saying that the sound was better on a record and that if I wanted to record that onto a tape, then whatever, but to start with the better sound. Like the cd's he used to have a big record collection and I can still remember the smell of those albums all stacked there together and how I used to pull out the sleeve or open them up hoping the lyrics would be in there so, you guessed it, I could sing along! haha I remember him scaring me half to death with Alice Cooper goes to Hell!! There was song story/song about some guy named Stephen (also my Dad's name) going to Hell and it freaked me out because I thought it was about him. Or, also from back then, Linda Ronstadt, Valerie Carter, Bread, some Dr. Hook and of course, OF COURSE Jackson Browne!
I remember waking up to his stereo and whatever playing on Saturday mornings. Jennifer and I would sit with the Bee Gees "Main Course" album, because it DID have the lyrics and we thought it was a little scandalous that there was a naked lady in a champagne glass on the cover. But we sang through that album a lot. And Air Supply. Or maybe that one was just me, I don't want to malign Jennifer's name too much! ;)
For me, a lot of music was phases. Some would stick much longer term or I'll always come back to time and time again. Others were maybe just whatever was the thing at the time. But I think always in the background were so many of the sounds that I grew up with. I have a big connection with The Eagles Greatest Hits 1971-1975. I sang Desperado after a break up (there's the therapy factor) like it was going out of style, which it probably already was! ;) And that same album was what I listened to every day on my drive to Opryland around the time I met Wayne and we started going out. The song 'Take it to the Limit' I always played during the stretch from Gallatin Rd. down Briley to Opryland. Just the same way, every day when I was getting ready for work I put Poison's 'Look What the Cat Dragged In' on. I would work out to Bon Jovi back then just like I do now. And when Wayne introduced me to 38 Special with their 'Flashback' album it was just like the soundtrack to our first summer together. To this day I can listen to those songs and it takes me right back.
I seem to have blacked out most of the 90s decade. I guess grunge wasn't for me, or else it's because I was listening to country at the time because I'm seriously out of touch with that decade's music. Not that I mind. I have a few connections to certain things from that time. There's a Little Texas song that makes me heartsick. There is a Brooks and Dunn song that makes me feel good. I remember driving in Germany while Wayne was deployed somewhere and Jackson Browne's 'Somebody's Baby' came on one of the German stations. Brent was little, but not TOO little in my mind to be initiated. So there it started, like it or not, my boys will always know Jackson Browne because starting at a young age I always pointed out when a song of his was on. In fact, Jack probably started before he was born because during my entire pregnancy with him I spent a lot of time outside painting the furniture for his room and listening to "The Very Best of Jackson Browne". There was a period of time that I had some sad associations with his music and couldn't listen to it. But obviously I came back.
It was around that time that I think I made the connection with singers who write their own music. I don't know why unless it's just that much more personal to them, but it's just better that way. I'm drawn to those people. I don't seek it out of course, but if I really connect with someone they almost always write their own stuff. I love song lyrics. I love to take a little blurb that I hear that just sounds right and make it my Facebook status. Or just take it and twist it around into something else.
I love how music takes you somewhere or it's there and you just don't even realize it necessarily. I love how it can completely turn your mood around if it hits you just right. I love how sometimes a song just "gets" you like nobody else can. It's like see, YOU know what I'm talking about and said it better than I could have! And I think in my case, it's almost like a legacy. I know there are things my Dad has played that will probably always remind me of him regardless of whether he listens to it anymore or even realizes that he played it. Pat Metheny, Van Morrison, Jimmy Buffett...those ones for sure. Jackson Browne to me is like a freakin' gift! I couldn't have picked him up anywhere else. I think it would be the best thing ever for us to get to see him live together! Almost happened once, but unfortunately he doesn't tour just a whole lot anymore. Although, Wayne did take me to see him in Belgium for our anniversary while we were there. At first I don't think Wayne thought it was all that exciting because it was an acoustic show. But with Jackson Browne, it's not about the flash, it's about the lyrics, the guitar or the piano and that's exactly what we got. So I think that will always be a special memory for us. I know I go on and on about the man, but seriously if you're not acquainted with his music, well not even that, really his songs, the lyrics themselves, he's brilliant. I clearly adore him! :) And he should by all means know it! ;)
So there ya go, my life in music. To this point at least. It's picked me up, been down with me, helped me put my bad emotions to bed, gotten them back up, made a slow day go faster and really it's like a variegated thread that goes through everything with me. It changes and blends from one thing to the next but it's always there.
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