Random Thoughts....

Pajama Day

Today I'm having a very rare, veeeerrrrry rare, pajama day. I like the idea of pajama days. I always think it sounds so nice and relaxing when I hear about other people having them but I just can't really get into it myself. But today, I'm just going to try and give in and do it. Took a shower and put on clean sweats and a tank top and settled in.

The idea is to do lots of laundry, lots of cleaning, some design work and some Wii. So far, a couple of hours in, I've done a little design work, 1 load of laundry and made my bed. Sort of not as productive as I'd hoped. I think Bravo TV is distracting me, I'm catching up on the trash t.v. that I don't always catch during the week. Right now though, Ramona on Real Housewives is making my head hurt!! Shut up girl!!

Woke up this morning to a phone call from Wayne. The time difference makes it tricky to get to talk to each other. That and Jack taking over my laptop most day!!! Grrrr!!! He's doing well, and I think mostly is just getting ready to move on to where he's going to be for the rest of the time and get started with his actual job. He's signed up for a couple more online classes. So that's really good, hopefully he'll be able to get some stuff knocked out while he's gone. I forgot to ask, but I think this college is on quarters. LOVE quarter systems!!! Things move along so much more quickly that way. It's easy (for me anyway) to get bored on semesters.

O.K., boring stuff here, but there's an update. Have a great day!

Seems Like Old Times

On a side note, the Chevy Chase/Goldie Hawn movie "Seems Like Old Times" is one of the few things that Wayne and I actually have in common. I don't mean that in a disparaging way, we just don't have a whole lot of similarities. A few of them are that movie, we both like the old b&w Twilight Zones, we both love thunderstorms and the South. Awww, don't you feel let in on a little secret?! ;) J/K

Actually what seems like old times right now is tonight. We're sort of just falling back into our old "deployment routine", the kids and I. It's a little bumpy at times, for me more than them I think, but all in all it's not been like being dunked in acid. LOL

Tonight was cleaning night at the Bratcher hacienda. You know, I sure use a lot of Spanish words for someone who prefers French....hacienda, siesta, chico...but I digress. Saturday was always our Cici's day while Wayne was gone before. I'm still figuring out what the equivalent of that will be here. The one thing I'm sure of is that I won't get out as easy as $21 here! And Sunday was always our day to pretty much hang around the house and get ready for the next day. It didn't go exactly like that today, but after I finally dragged my unmotivated self out of bed we did o.k. Brent and I ran a few errands, where I let him drive. And he did EXCELLENT! Once we got home the van needed washed BAD! Not just because we'd been out, it had needed washed for a while and Brent kept asking me if we couldn't just find one to drive through, but it was such a nice, sunny day today I insisted that they get out there and do it by hand! So while I worked out and turned my legs into jelly, they did that. I made them eggs and cheese on toast for supper and then we all started on sort of a cleaning jag. Each of the kids had jobs or even multiple jobs and they all pitched in very well. And now the rest of the night is just for relaxing, watching a few of our shows, etc... The next two weeks are Spring Break for the kids so it should be pretty easy. Brent still has workouts each afternoon during the first week and none the second. And Jack and Rhett has swimming lessons 4 days this week and then they're done. Unfortunately they had to miss a couple lessons last week with things going on so I may have them repeat level 1, rather than move them up, but we'll see. They, well when I say they, the boys minus Brent, want to go back to the lagoons so I'm sure we'll make several trips out there.

All in all not a bad weekend. The key is going to be just finding a good routine. And that's my big job I suppose. As long as we all have something like that I think it'll be smooth sailing!

I haven't posted pics in a while, so here are some pics from our weekend:

 

 

 

 

 

Fraudulent Activity

First, before I get into anything, I've debated back and forth should I post this or not. But this is my blog, I pretty much put anything out here, critics be damned. And I'm a pretty open book kind of a person anyway. So here goes...

Most people know that Wayne is leaving for his deployment this week. It's a shorter one than before. There's much less anxiety about it this time than before. I'm not scared about being alone or being in charge alone of 4 kids, or being all the way over here in Hawaii alone. I'm finding that what scares me is what people seem to think of me because of this. I keep getting the "you're so strong" thing. And the "it's so much to handle" thing. These things are never said to be insulting of course. It's an acknowledgment of the reality of the situation. I get that. But it makes me feel like SUCH a fraud! It makes me feel like people think I'm more than I am.

And if I feel a moment of weakness, like what this probably is right now, then I don't feel deserving of the title. If somebody could rip the damn band-aid off already I might be steady. But it's not that way and it's not going to be that way until later this week. I have no doubts about my capabilities. I know everything will be o.k. But those people that know me well know that I do NOT like to feel any sort of negative emotion. And so if I feel a little shaky like right new it makes me feel like a mess. Completely weak. Completely unworthy of those sorts of praise. It's ANYBODY!! Anybody would do the same thing in this situation. I mean, what are the alternatives? You do what you have to do and you buck up and move on. My life is not in danger and neither are those of my kids. For crying out loud we live in cushy Hawaii! So to complain or to feel a little down or whatever this little bit of negative emotion I have swirling around in me is, is ridiculous to me.

And just now it has just occurred to me...may this is like in that book The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Where the caterpillar eats and eats and goes into a coccoon and then turns into a beautiful butterfly. I've been thinking how at the end of this week I'll morph into Miss Independent (as Wayne calls me). I know it'll happen because it always does. And it's a very good thing! But I guess in The Very Hungry Caterpillar they don't mention to you how the caterpillar may feel a little sick and woozy from everything he's taken in. That the coccoon state might be a bit uncomfortable before he morphs into the beautiful butterfly. Maybe that's where I am right now, the coccoon state. Because I know I'll become Miss Independent. It's a given. It's the destined outcome of the situation. But I never thought about what this rude little stage in between was, except that it's when the band-aid is being ripped off slowly one hair at a time. And although I still don't think I feel worthy of being called strong (for this particular situation) maybe I can feel a little bit less like a fraud if I'm having to suffer a little bit for it. How's that for healthy logic? ;)

An Open Letter to My Conscience

Dear Conscience,

You can leave me alone now. You badgered me all day. You really picked up the pace tonight after my nap when I woke up feeling sickly full. You made me feel really bad as if I had just gorged myself all day. So this caused me to reflect and examine exactly what I had eaten today. In fact, I did not eat horribly. Today I had:

Kashi shredded wheat with no milk

2 veggie spring rolls

1 crab wonton

part of my moo goo gai pan which I did not love because it was not spicy. I ate the broccoli, some shrimp and water chesnuts and that's it.

5,000 glasses of passion fruit tea with sweet 'n low-o.k. maybe only 3 or 4 (oh, and I thanked the waitress for giving me new lemons with each glass!)

a small bowl of cheesecake icecream mixed with raspberries at Coldstone. The worst of it was that it was in a small waffle cup with sprinkles. SMALL!!

a few roasted garlic Triscuits with a few slices of cheese.

Is that really bad? Over a whole day? I just felt awful in the afternoon though. So, conscience, you kicked in. You told me I needed to be on the treadmill. You conjured up all sorts of killer workout combinations that I should be subjected to. I resisted. I really did not want to work out. I wanted to lay on the love seat and be still and let my stomach return to normal.

I almost put myself to bed with 2 sleeping pills. I really just wanted a long, long sleep. But no, you freaking won out again!! I complained about it. Wayne almost told me I didn't have to work out, but my crabby self told him not to say it! You were clearly irritating me by this point. All I wanted by now was to shut you up!

I knew at least with a marathon of Jon and Kate Plus 8 episodes on at least I'd have some distraction from both YOU and my workout! So I did it! I sweated! I worked out hard! I had to pause two times for about a total of 45 seconds total. You thought that was unacceptable! So you made me push myself and pay to make up for it! What a masochist!!! I hope you're very happy now, because by the time my shiny, slippery, sweaty self got off the treadmill you had won! You should be so proud of yourself, you did your job successfully. Secretly I applaud you, but only secretly! Now, may I rest in peace the rest of the night, please? Thank you! :)

What is the Protocol with Lemons?

O.K., you're a party of 2 in a restaurant. You order tea with lemon. Let's say you BOTH order tea with lemon. Aside from the icky things they say about lemons (la la la la la la, I'm blocking you out, I can't hear you) what is the deal here? Your first glass arrives safely with a lemon wedge perched on the edge of the glass. Or maybe even on top, either way is fine, I'm not picky. It's all good, you are happily drinking your tea at lightening speed (well you are if you're ME). So in 2.4 minutes you need a refill. Shouldn't said refill also come with a lemon? I mean, my original order was tea with lemon. If I'd ordered a Coke they wouldn't have brought me just a glass of carbonated water would they? So why for the love of all that's holy do they almost NEVER bring me a lemon with the second glass? Do they forget? Do I not deserve a new lemon because I drank my first glass so fast? Oh! Is there a ration on the lemons, they're saving them for the troops overseas? Because if that's the case then right there on the menu near the fancy lemonades that don't get free refills they should put NO FREE LEMONS AFTER THE FIRST ONE!

O.K., so I ask for another lemon. And 9 times out of 10 this is what will happen. A little saucer with 3 pretty little lemon wedges arranged in a partial pinwheel arrives at our table. 3? Why 3? One for him and one for me? Are we supposed to fight over the 3rd one? Should I get it as an act of chivalry on his part. Should I just take one for the team and let him have it? I just don't get the 3 lemon thing? I know in decorating a odd number is often preferable for accessories and things. Is this the same sort of thing? 3 just looks prettier on a plate? OR, I'll get what happened to me this afternoon, 2 wedges of lemon that looked like they came from a lemon that was sliced by a blind person. Please, I mean no offense to any blind people who may be reading this. I just would not assume that a lemon that was sliced into wedges by a blind person would be cut into perfect wedges that's all. Was that my punishment for asking for another lemon? Did she go back to the kitchen after my request and just start hacking away at the first lemon she saw all the while saying, "Take THIS for making me come back here for another lemon after I closed out your check!" I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to put you out waitress-that-doesn't-organize-your-time-very-well! I just think it should be a given that if I get a lemon with one tea I should get a lemon with all future teas. On that visit only of course, I wouldn't expect you to remember it on future visits, "Oh there's the lemon lady!"

And what is it with me and tea with lemons lately anyway? It's so good! I'm even forgoing my usual diet Coke for this grown up drink. Before now I always had "places I would drink diet Coke" and "tea places". O'Charley's for example, was a tea place. Always good tea there. Some sort of diner would be a diet Coke place. A Mexican restaurant would definitely be a diet Coke place. But lately even that Mexican place sees me ordering tea. It's like I always tell Brent, some places you just don't want to order a steak. Waffle house is one. Mexican restaurants, also not know for their ribeyes. If you want a steak go to a steak place. Don't chance it at Cracker Barrel. I always felt the same about tea. But yeah, now I've got this little tea obsession going on. I suppose it's because I'm pushing 40 as Wayne says. Which I am NOT, by the way. Please!! But maybe it's a grown up thing to do, to drink tea. I can accept that. I mean, after all I don't actually believe that the sun is setting on my days of diet Coke. I can resume that habit any ol' time I want. But I just would like to put the request out there to the universe, if I order tea from you with a lemon, go right ahead and bring me 3 more just like it. ;)

Conspiracy against my pajamas

For years now I have loved to sleep in the same thing. I have a few pairs of Wayne's old PT sweat pants that are soooo comfy. They're a little ratty, they're definitely huge, admittedly they don't "look" good, but they are synonymous with comfort and relaxing for me. Those and a tank top and I'm good to go.

Well this part of my wardrobe seems to bother some people. Well two people. My mother and Wayne. Both like to suggest I get new things to sleep in or just buy me new things to sleep in. Don't misunderstand me, I appreciate the new things. I even think they're cute, but I always go back to my old grey PT sweats and tank top. I think they became extra important to me when Wayne was deployed. Some days I would be so tired or so cold or just so whatever that I would seriously look forward all day to getting home and putting on my "comfy clothes". It was pure relaxation. I've even somewhat anxiously thought about the day someday in the future when they're just not wearable anymore. See, they don't use these sweats anymore for PT and so if we bought more, because I *think* they still sell them, they would be brand new and not at all broken in. They'd be all heavy and thick. Mine are sooo well worn and broken in. And there will come a day, probably before too long that this one particular pair will have to go. I might have to make me a blankie out of them. LOL, only kidding! But I will sure be sad to have one less pair.

The other night in this ongoing conspiracy against my pajamas Wayne came home with some "gifts" for me. A bag from Hooters (of all places). Two tank tops and a pair of shorts. No, not the famous orange ones,(they don't sell those), apparently he checked. But a black pair which is even better because I love black. But when I looked at him kind of like, "WHY did you buy me all this stuff?" he quickly came back with, "it's for you to SLEEP in". Ah! It's clear now. Nobody likes my ratty old sweats. Except me. So here I sit in my Hooters get up, about ready to go to bed, and I feel like I'm cheating on my sweats. Don't worry sweats, Wayne will be leaving in a couple of weeks and we'll get together again! ;) LOL 

I love a Sunday night

You know, like that old Eddie Rabbitt song "I love a rainy night". O.K. moving on...

Something about a Sunday night is just so good for me. The wrapping up of one thing and getting ready for the next thing. Tying up loose ends and setting up for something new. I like it. Things feel cooperative on a Sunday night! It's a good vibe. I think the day was pretty full of all things that I like. Lunch out with Wayne, some shopping, a good nap and then that getting ready for the week thing.

It was a busy weekend for sure! Saturday morning I was up at 5 a.m. to leave for the pool to wait in line to sign up Jack and Rhett for swimming lessons. Sign ups didn't begin until 9 a.m. but I'd heard through the grapevine to get there early or else. So I got there early. What a long morning. And the joyous part is that I get to do it again each month that I want them to take swimming lessons. But I was successful, I got them both in. They start on the 16th, each afternoon for 9 days. I'm hoping that it'll decide to warm up a little bit before then. As soon as I got done there, I came straight home and went to bed for about 3 more hours.

Lunch at P.F. Chang's with Rhett-Rhett. It was SO cute, because it was supposed to be just Wayne and I going, but at the last second Wayne asked Rhett if he wanted to go. At one point during lunch Rhett just melted my heart when he turned to Wayne and said, "Dad, thank you for brining me to lunch." Awwww, how sweet is that?! They also brought him an Etch-a-Sketch to play with while we were waiting for food and it completely fascinated Rhett. It was so fun to see how something so basic and old-fashioned I guess was so new to him. He thought it was a gift though and wanted to take it with us. :( That's o.k. though because I'd already decided that I was going to get him one later since he was so taken with it. Oh, and he was such a good little eater! If anybody remembers how light Rhett has always been, well I think he's beginning to gain a little because sometimes he's just a chunk to lift. I think he's still right under 40 pounds, but he's getting there, little pipsqueak that he is. Anyway, what I was going to say is that he happily at spring rolls that were filled with cabbage, chicken and even some of Wayne's sea bass. At one point Rhett was reaching over to sneak a bite of Wayne's fish and this lady on her way out leaned down and said to him, "If you're gonna eat Daddy's food, I'm gonna eat yours!" LOL Freaked Rhett out a little, but I was just so surprised to see him trying so many different things.

Jack was another source of entertainment this weekend. While Wayne and Brent and some friends were getting Hooter-ized and watching some UFC fights I took the other boys to run a couple errands. As we were going into the store Jack says to me, and really you have to know Jack and his mannerisms to get this, but maybe I can get the gist across, "Mom, you're beautifuuuuulll (in a sing song voice and while petting my arm) and you're the best mom I ever had!"

Later, in the van, (and this is a repeat from my facebook page) the song "The Naked Ride Home" came on. Well the first line is "just take off your clothes and I'll drive you home, I said".  Jack completely deadpan and right on time comes back with "Let's not take off our clothes and drive home". On to a new song a few minutes later and I was forwarding past it, but still Jack caught a few bars I guess because he goes "Hold up! What was Track 3? We need to go back to Track 3, it had a good sound!" And one more from him. Sunday afternoon I had just laid down for my nap and in walks Jack. Let me set the scene for one second. Wayne was on the couch in the living room. I was on my bed in my bedroom. But Jack comes to me and says, "Mom, Mom, can I have a snack?" I was a little bit in disbelief at why he would come to me who is clearly trying to rest when his Dad was right there by the kitchen. So I ask him and he said, "Because I'm closer to you Mom." LOL Oh brother, this kid!!!

Well, a few more things I have to do tonight to wrap things up. I just had an awesome workout and feel so good! Don't you just love how even if you don't feel the least bit like working out you always feel awesome afterwards?! I can't believe how far I've progressed in the last 6 months or so. The anemia had me so sidelined that I couldn't do ANYTHING, I mean literally the simplest things were so hard for me. And now I'm on it again! I love that!

What is Normal?

So life is returning to a state of semi-normalcy around here after the company we had for a week. The kids still go to school each morning. I still work out, run my errands, clean the house, play online. Wayne is still on leave until Monday. Then it's back to the regular normal. But only for a little while. Because in a couople of weeks he is leaving again. I'm not scared and I don't think he is. The kids are fine. Mostly I think we all feel this way because it's almost like a walk in the park after last time. I know what it's like. They know what it's like. We know what the communication will basically be like. So where is this little bit of apprehension coming from? 

I think it's just because I know that it will require me to create a new normal. That doesn't scare me. I know I had a pretty good set up last time. The kids and I did our thing. Wayne and I talked everyday pretty much. I think it's just the little bit of time in between. There's the whole ripping off of the band-aid of course. Then there's that space in the middle of what's normal now and what will be normal. That could be a couple days. It could be a week. It could be longer I guess. I know that I'll make it as short as possible because I don't like that in between stage. If I could just jump from one to the other I'd do it. Just knowing it's looming and I can't speed it up or slow it down is the worst. I have to wait for it to just land on us. 

But....it'll be o.k. It always is. I've never been unable to do anything I had to do. This is what we do and so therefore I guess this is normal. 

Is This Considered Torture?

There was an anomaly in my house last night. I slept the WHOLE night! Yes, I'm just like a 4 month old baby. I'm usually up in the middle of the night but occasionally for fun there will be a whole night's sleep much to everyone's relief. Don't really know how that's affecting anybody but me. But believe me I'm my usual happy, hilarious self whether I've had four hours of sleep or nine. No, that's not up for discussion! ;) I think my workout the afternoon before might have had something to do with it because I pushed it hard. That plus normally when I get up in the middle of the night there' a little nap in the afternoon somewhere and for the past few days that just didn't happen.

So, all that said, just to say that it seems to be Wayne's personal mission to make sure I sleep again tonight. We took a nap this afternoon but that just wasn't enough. By about 6:30 I was ready to go to bed. For the night! That would've really been just silly though so I got up and worked out a little. Did some laundry. Cleaned up the kitchen. Just stuff. And now it's just past 8 and Wayne has forbid me from going to bed. He said I am not allowed to go to bed until at least 9 p.m. Now isn't depriving people of sleep a form of torture? Is this legal? Should I call the MP's? (just kidding!) Frankly I do pretty well with my mixed up sleep. At least now when I go to bed I can skip the whole hour of trying in vain to fall asleep while Wayne falls asleep in 10.3 seconds. Only a person with sleep issues can appreciate how annoying that is! And like this morning I woke up around 6:15 and did NOT want to get out of bed. But normally (or abnormally however you wanna look at it) if I wake up at 1 or 2 I'm wide awake then. It's not like I'm dragging myself out of bed at that time. My eyes pop open and I'm just up. No sense in just laying there when I can get up and play spelling games online or other productive things like that! Right? Plus, I don't know why Wayne's complaining because I've been taking the kids to school everyday. He even gets extra sleep out of the deal. So I think this torture should be called off. Put me out of my misery, let me go! I need my bed!

Hit Me Baby One More Time

and maybe this time it'll knock me out! LOL

I'm sitting here with Rhett crammed up against my arm while he does his homework. You know, the chore that could very well drag us into the wee hours of the morning. He's a smart boy, but he is so uninterested in getting his homework that it takes every bit of patience that I have each day. And admittedly that's not much. Patience is not something I was ever blessed with. If I'm lucky we'll be finishing this last little bit up in the next 8 hours. See, he has to write the word "no" over and over on a dotted line. Good thing it's not a longer word! Then he has to write a couple of sentences with the word. Phonetically. I tell his teacher all the time I have the hardest time helping him write things phonetically. I understand the concept, but there are just certain words or sounds that I just don't know how to help him get that way. I could never have been a teacher. I learned that real fast when Brent was in kindergarten. Not that I was ever planning to be a teacher. But on his "special day" in kindergarten I went to spend the day with him and had my first ever migraine. I came right home and threw up!

Oh, I just did a cute little "interview" with Rhett and posted it on my Facebook. If you aren't my "friend" on Facebook and want to read it, just add me and mention that you read my blog and I'll put you on through. I guess that did contribute to dragging out the homework a little bit.

O.K I am now to the begging stage. Pleeease finish your homework so I can close my eyes.

Went up to North Shore again today. Had another Mexican lunch. Can't complain about that. Love me some Mexican food. Learned exactly how messy black beans can be. Oh! This was funny! The other day Jack was telling me that he knew how they made black beans. Oh really, I said. He said, "Yeah, they take black beetles and pull all the legs off and then you have black beans." No wonder the kid has a bean phobia! Where does he get these ideas?

Well, now I have exhausted all of my musings and anecdotes for the day. If we leave the house again later you never know, there may be more. You know that a grocery store or Walmart is always good for a story!

I'll just leave you with this one last thing. You know those coconut shell bras that hula dancers wear sometimes? Well, I noticed they have ones if you're not so well endowed. Sort of almost flat coconut shells. Who knew these things could be so anatomically correct? I'd kind of think if you "needed" the flatter ones you'd probably just use the regular sized ones and fake it. Maybe not.